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ena Griffin, Family, Family, murder, single mother, ena griffin, teddy beckles, life, mental illness, murder, murder, ena griffin, teddy Beckles, family, single mother, teddy, teddy beckles, teddybeckles, Uncategorized

11 years

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It was only with the strength of God that I got through this last 4,013 days without hearing your laugh or asking what’s for dinner. I can’t stand thinking about missing out tonight wanting to see your ‘eating swell’ post on social media. I want to see you and your brother laughing, you giving him advice on life, you just…. Living!!!

I know God doesn’t make mistakes. I know your life was for a reason and truth be told I know that you brought SO MUCH Love into my life. You wasn’t an easy child to raise but you was honest and considerate and soooo sensitive. You was there for me during my depression. You rubbed my feet, sat with me when you knew I just didn’t want to be alone.

My pain starts knowing you was alone when they were hurting you for no reason. Why did they beat on my baby? Kick and punch and kick and punch and…. Stab….. Why?

Noone helped. Everyone watched. Noone helpedddd you. Why? I’ll forever regret not being there. I would of helped. I would of kicked back. Not my baby!! I don’t play when it comes to my boys!!!!!!

ena Griffin, Family, Family, murder, single mother, ena griffin, teddy beckles, life, mental illness, murder, murder, ena griffin, teddy Beckles, family, single mother, teddy, teddy beckles, teddybeckles, Uncategorized

You are forever my sunshine!

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You are forever my sunshine!

The time is coming near. It’s engulfing me like a cover over my head. I’m trying to keep my head up with all of these great things happening in my life. Yet here comes another reminder…. September…. You’re not here!!!! This young man, incarcerated or not is still able to have a decent life. Am I still upset? Heck yes! Do I believe it’s the will of God, hell no! Not MY God.

What is the lesson you want me to learn this year, Teddy? I know the number 10 meansFresh New Beginnings. Leadership and Innovation. I know you are proud of me and your brother and our accomplishments but I can NEVER get past the fact that YOU. ARE. NOT. HERE. accomplishing your Own goals!! You was such a dreamer. You had plans. You told me about them. I was your biggest cheerleader knowing all that we’ve been through practically growing up together since I became a mother at 21. It was just you, me and your little brother for so long that I couldn’t fathom getting married again. I had my Trinity and it was all I needed!

I’m soooo tired of these R.I.P. Pictures! I haven’t had a ‘new’ one since 2012. You know what, Teddy? It’s not fair. There, I said it. I don’t feel like being spiritual right now. I want my son back!!!