You just don’t understand unless you’re a grieving mother how your heart can break over and over again without ever getting whole. I’m tired of people saying I’m doing so much better since I’m able to go on public alone again. I still stand in a crowded room and feel completely alone.
Looking around to see if this was all a horrible joke and Teddy will walk up to me and hold me excruciatingly tight taking my breath away but giving me my life back.
As I turn around and around like a mother losing her toddler in a crowded store, her breath is still, in her throat until she sees her baby run into her arms. I just want my baby back! I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you, I will never let you get hurt again. Please just let me have another chance. The tears run down my face no matter the location nor my reluctance to being embarrassed. My pain has no dignity. I don’t even pretend any longer.
I’m sorry. I was going to write about your last days leading up to September 20th, 2012 but I can’t today. Today, I just need to feel you anyway I can. Your spirit comforting mine. Trying to exhale and release this breath stuck in my throat…. I can’t find you….
Ena Griffin's Journey 